


Looking in the Mirror

by Neelee



Series: Good and Beautiful [3]
Category: Grace and Frankie (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Post-Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 17:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18642817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neelee/pseuds/Neelee
Summary: Brianna passed the joint to Frankie, genuinely taken aback. “And you just started… touching her? And she wasn’t high? Or dead?” “Yes. It was you who said that she has a heart, or something, after all.” Frankie’s tone was slightly cautious, almost defensive, like she was balancing if she was on Grace’s or Brianna’s side. For a long time, Frankie had always been on Brianna’s side, the two of them against Grace.





	Looking in the Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> This is the third part in the series, but works on its own too. Or I hope so! Content warning for eating disorder/damaged body image, but nothing really graphic. Thanks @chainofclovers for betaing this - it's always lovely to work with you!

 

Brianna passed the joint to Frankie, genuinely taken aback.

“And you just started… touching her? And she wasn’t high? Or dead?”

“Yes. It was you who said that she has a heart, or something, after all.” Frankie’s tone was slightly cautious, almost defensive, like she was balancing if she was on Grace’s or Brianna’s side. For a long time, Frankie had always been on Brianna’s side, the two of them against Grace.

“Heart yes, or maybe, but I didn’t know her heart or soul or whatever had any connection to her actual… body?”

“Well, it can be complicated, but there is a connection. She’s actually… quite fun in that department.” Frankie wasn’t cautious anymore, her eyes shining with a smug smile.

“Eewww, Frankie, no details. I mean, I’m not completely surprised, because you have obviously had your thing, with vibrators and all. But I thought it was all happening only on a mental level.”

“That’s all I thought, too.”

“But you had been thinking about it?” Brianna made a face, half disgusted, half curious.

Frankie ‘let’s embrace our natural beauty’ Bergstein wanting to be physically intimate with her Barbie doll of a mother didn’t actually make a lot of sense. Brianna could remember her mother standing in front of a mirror a lot. It had been such a ritual for Grace, always stopping there, checking her hair and makeup, turning around and - as Brianna understood as a little girl already - making sure that she didn't look fat. The hard looks Grace gave to herself were branded in Brianna’s mind, and the more approving ones were Grace congratulating herself on hard work: eating less and exercising more. Not giving her body what it needed.

Brianna recalled how she and Mallory had cruelly made fun of Grace's mirror ritual by mimicking her, and how hurt and embarrassed Grace had been. But later on, Brianna had caught herself doing the exactly same turns in front the same mirror. A turning point had been Grace hinting that Brianna - fourteen years old at the time - didn’t have the body to wear a bikini, also that in front of that goddamn mirror. Brianna had chosen to rebel by wearing the smallest bikini she could find, and eating chocolate in front of Grace, but it didn't mean that it hadn't hurt. And poor Mallory, hearing that exchange, among many others, had ended up being eager to go along with their mother's standards. It had hurt Brianna to watch her baby sister struggle through her teenage years, having a lot of negative thoughts about herself. Not like she would have supported her sister, just the opposite actually, because, well, it had been complicated. Sisters and mothers and daughters. Brianna thanked the universe for giving them Frankie, whose example and all-embracing feminism had given them another kind of a mirror to look at.

Then there were Brianna's later rituals in front of that significant mirror. Making sure that her tank top didn't hide too much of her breasts, approvingly checking how good her butt looked in the tight jeans. Grace's reaction was to snort and tell her to keep her tits inside the top. Brianna knew it could have been any teenage girl's mother's reaction, but as an adult, she could read more into it. Grace had been confused, seeing her 17-year-old daughter have joy in looking at her own body. Not a perfect body, but a healthy one, connected to a rebellious and proud mind. Something Grace had never experienced herself. Grace knew the power she had over men with her looks, and she really enjoyed using it. She knew how women envied and admired her. But having a genuine joy just to be her, to look like her, that must have been alien to her. Brianna missed having that feeling about herself, because, well, a lot had happened after those proud teenage times.

Also Brianna's early boyfriends had made Grace uncomfortable. Or not the boyfriends as such, but that Brianna had sex with them, and enjoyed it. Of course Brianna had spotted Grace's discomfort and teased her by being overtly open-minded about her sexlife.

Frankie - who knew all this history - was proud to announce her achievement in the matter of Grace Hanson, sex and bodies.

“Yes, I had been thinking about it, that maybe, maybe she exists on a physical level too. But I thought the mental stuff was all she was capable of. Letting me come emotionally closer than anyone else. You know, I’m very talented at that! Like I became close with the orangutan! Or the time I...”

“Okay, Frankie, I know. The poor animal didn’t have a choice actually. But honestly, I dunno if you’re ever gonna understand what you’ve done with Mom.”

“Actually I think I understand. I’ve known her longer than you, honey. So.” Frankie was suddenly earnest and looked at Brianna pointedly.

Frankie was right, she had been there all along, arguing openly with Grace on numerous family gatherings and law firm dos. Brianna had often enjoyed witnessing those arguments, because it felt good that somebody challenged her mother’s ideas and values. Sometimes it had been just good entertainment, because both Grace and Frankie were pretty creative telling off one another. Brianna thought already then that they also enjoyed their show themselves, at least to some extent. It had been especially fun to take Frankie’s side and make her mother furious by doing so. It still was fun.

To be honest, as a grown-up Brianna had also been fed up at times, when Grace and Frankie had gone on arguing about the same things over and over again. _Go and burn your incense outside the house, it gives me a headache and makes me dream of a hippie apocalypse_. She knew their patterns - when one topic had become worn, there had always been the next coming up. _As soon as you stop wearing those artificial perfumes that destroy my natural sense for pheromones_. It hadn't been just once or twice she had thought that her mother didn’t know another way to communicate with people close to her, with the exception of Robert who she had hardly talked to. Brianna had seen the positive development in her mother over the past years, and she knew that a lot of it was Frankie's doing. They still bickered over the same things, but the warmth underneath it all couldn't go unnoticed. Their shared apartment smelled like a L'Oreal counter invaded by a league of aromatherapists, but nobody really minded. Brianna felt that the smell meant a home for her - and probably also for her Mom and Frankie.

“Did you ever try to hit on her? Seduce her? Before now?” Brianna had never really known how much of Frankie’s blabbering about being sexually open-minded was just for show. It was a good show, no doubt about it.

“Huh. Try to hit on Grace Hanson, no one should try that. I mean, I was very open about my interest, but she turned me down for three years. Her eyes often told another story, though.”

“But how on earth did you do it then? I don’t wanna hear, but this is too good.”

“Finally I genuinely apologized for implying all that stuff. And there it was, suddenly she was telling like oh, by the way, you can grab my ass anytime and all that jazz.”

“Oh, Frankie, rookie mistake to push her. But well done at the end!”

“I might have known that she wouldn’t end up in my arms if I made a pass at her. But it felt important to let her know anyway. And I became more and more aware that she never said a proper no. More like laughing it off or telling me to stop asking.”

“Uh-huh. But hey, does Dad know? I mean, dads?”

“Yeah.” Frankie’s eyes narrowed contentedly and she took the last inhale of the joint.

“And?”

“Guess?”

“Dad did a victory dance because he wasn’t the only gay in the village, I mean not the only one responsible for ruining their so called marriage? And Sol was half jealous of you and half shocked because you’re banging my beloved mother?”

“Pretty much like that. Robert and Grace went all emotional actually, I mean on your family’s scale. I had a veeery long afternoon with Sol. Finally I said that I was done and I wasn’t going to support his emotional processing a minute longer. And I left. Thank God I met poor Robert in the driveway and he could take over.”

“Gosh. I kind of appreciate that you didn’t have a family meeting to tell the news. Even though Sol’s face would have been fun to see. Like for 30 seconds, not more. But hey... Does Mal know?” Brianna felt puzzled all of a sudden.

“Grace is there right now.”

“You are playing some fucking game.”

“You said you appreciated us not calling a family meeting, huh?”

“Well, yes, but…” Brianna was surprised to be jealous of her sister having a heart-to-heart with their mother, of all things in the world.

“Don’t blame your mother. I insisted I want to tell you first. Because you’re my girl, Brianna. ”

“And you’re my Frankie.” Brianna pulled Frankie in a little awkward hug. _Fuck it_ , Brianna thought, _I can share my Frankie even with Grace Hanson_.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wrote some meta about Grace's and Frankie's relationship in this series - you can read it [here](https://neeleys.tumblr.com/post/184499817374/for-the-meme-you-posted-id-love-a-directors-cut)!


End file.
